Thursday thoughts: The pitfalls of trying to please people By JILL JOHNSON Wednesday, July 19, 2023 I have to admit that I am a “people pleaser.” I don’t necessarily think that is a bad thing because it does say that you care about others and desire to make them happy. However, there is a huge pitfall in people-pleasing – you cannot please everyone! I have to remind myself (or the Lord will) that I cannot please everyone no matter how hard I try. I have a husband, three children, seven grandchildren, a job, friends, other family members and the list could go on and on. I want to be there when people need me and be able to meet a need when they have one, but the truth is I cannot. At times I can feel defeated when I am not able to fulfill expectations and meet a need. God has to gently remind me that only He can meet all those needs. He can use me to assist in meeting needs but only He can fulfill all of them. I have had a difficult time with remembering this fact over the last few months. Maybe it is because of the way I was brought up or maybe it is just the way I’m wired but I can tend to feel like a little bit of a failure when I have to admit there is something I can’t do or a need or expectation I am unable to meet. This is where the pitfall comes in. A pitfall is a hidden or unsuspected danger or difficulty. I let my feelings and emotions fall into that pitfall when I feel I am unable to “measure up” or “fulfill expectations.” I know this is not how God wants me to operate. God does not want me to listen to the lie that my worth and identity are in what I do versus my relationship with Him. I realize that sometimes my people-pleasing is not always what is right for my spiritual, mental or physical health. The truth is I don’t have to be a people pleaser, I only have to please my heavenly Father. The reality is that if our identity comes from people (pleasing them) it can be devasted, traumatized and destroyed by people. We are all human. We all mess up. We can’t please everyone. We need to please the One that matters most and that is God. My identity needs to be in whose I am (God’s) rather than what I do. This is a tough but needed truth for me to remember daily! God doesn’t ask for us to “please” people. He does ask for us to love people. We can love people by encouraging them, praying for them, serving them, forgiving them and just being kind. These are all things that are mentioned in the Bible. There is not a place in the Bible that says “please people” however it does say in the Bible our purpose is to please God. “For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the good news. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.” (1 Thessalonians 2:4) God gently reminded me this past weekend that I cannot please everyone. I need to please Him by being what He wants me to be, going where He wants me to go, doing what He wants me to do and fulfilling the plan He has for my life. That is the only way to avoid the pitfall of people-pleasing. I need to realize and remember that no matter what I do, only one person can love me the way I want and need to be loved and that is God. We should all strive to please God and take the chance that a few people will be upset with us rather than strive to please people and miss a blessing God has for us! I am praying that God will remind me of this every single time I feel defeated because I am trying to please others. Let’s make a point to encourage each other to love people the way God would want us to but also remind ourselves that we are only to please God. If we can walk in this truth we will avoid the pitfall. I don’t know about you but I would much rather be in the protective shelter of pleasing God knowing that is the only way to truly love others. ___ Jill Johnson, a staff member at the Georgia Baptist Mission Board, finds spiritual applications in her everyday experiences as a wife, mother, grandmother and Georgian. She is available to speak to your church's women's gatherings. Reach her at jjohnson@gabaptist.org. --- PULLQUOTES --- Quote: God doesn’t ask for us to 'please' people. He does ask for us to love people. --- PHOTOS --- File: 20230105-130542-Jill Johnson thumbnail.jpg Caption: Jill Johnson